Limited Patience

I am in love with two men at once. One is as white as the moon and the other dark as midnight. One can provide for me and loves me the other doesn’t love me and I doubt he can provide for me. I want someone that can pay all my bills and give me money so I can smoke and write all day. He can do whatever he wants as long as he does that. I want my white boy to take care of the other and me to be my man. Is that wrong? I mean men can have three or four wives in some cases. Why can’t I have a man and a provider in one man? So I guess I have to have two. Last night after I done called everybody I know my white boi came threw. No one else did. I don’t even have sex with him and he loves me. He also wants to take care of me. I keep chasing behind my other love though. I somewhat confessed my feelings for him today. Now he knows how I feel the ball is in his court. I will not wait no longer for him after tomorrow. Tonight my white boi is coming over and hopefully he gives me what I need. Then tomorrow I am going to clean and cook Sunday dinner and I want my #1 to come over. That’s what I want lets hope that I get it. Other than that life is just a waiting game. Patience is a virtue. Everything will be ok. I have to take my ideas to another level. It seems as though this blog is not really helping me at the moment. When will it pay off? I write because I have love for it but I also got to pay the bills. I would be very happy if people actually read it.

            I cannot wait to pamper myself and have an evening out. I know my number #1 will want me then but it will be too late. It’s now or never. I have been patient long enough. I can have any man but I will accept a broke one. I must be crazy. He got one more day and after that I swear I will make sure I don’t even go around him. There will be no point. Its time I start getting what I want. My white boy got a woman anyway. I am about to have hoes. I kind of already do but don’t want any of them. There is so much more to life than love but I feel it everywhere. I want my own success and a man with equal success. Please Lord give me what I need.  I need a change for the better. I want a luxurious life and fun. Good food and good people. Tired of the broke life. I want something better for my family and myself. I want, I want. But I also need it for my sanity. Tired of the struggle. Everyday I wake up I do my hardest to change it. So with that being said I will go to bed satisfied with my effort no matter what the outcome. More juicy gossip tomorrow! Have a great night hopefully I will.