Monday, January 21, 2013

Nina's Confessions: Day 2 of Hell

Nina's Confessions: Day 2 of Hell: Today I realized men aren’t shit. The love of my life doesn’t care very much about love. I am frozen in time. I have no desire to continue wanting the unwanted.
            On another note I had a great day today. I cooked, cleaned and smoked. I thought about what I need to do in order to change my life. What shall I do? I am convinced that writing a blog will change everything and I will be able to make a career with my passion but so far it does not look too promising.  I am in debt to the ceiling and have no idea how I am going to get out of it. Yes I am unemployed but that’s due to the fact that my scumbag manager decided to fire me due to her negligence.
            Now I am sitting here with a cigarette and glass of vodka pondering.
I had to have a drink after I seen my ex boyfriend happy in love with another woman not to my liking. Not to be vain but I am what you call pretty. That bitch is fat and ugly. Not that I have anything against fat women. I am not the skinniest but when you are plus size you have to work extra hard to maintain your image. You should dress nice, have hair, nails and eyebrows done and your face should be flawless. That’s just my opinion.
            My ex was schizophrenic. He treated me like I was nothing. When I was with him I lost myself. I lost my dreams, ambitions, and heart. I am loving the single life now. We been broken up for a while now and I am so over him. I am so over him putting his finger in me after we had sex to make sure there were no seamen in there. I’m so over him thinking I took his personality traits. I’m so over him hearing voices telling him I was cheating. I’m so over him not allowing me to be happy.
            Single life does get lonely but at least I have freedom. The man I am interested in now is sooo not interesting. Lol. I have many men for different needs. I do not have sex with all of them. One man I have is my old head. He is whom I fuck.  He makes me come all over his big BLACK dick. I have a white boy to take care of my finances. Right now we aren’t speaking due to the fact that his girlfriend is a maniac and will beat him up and kick him out if he talks to me. #White people problems. I have a young bio to use for weed.
            I want my midnight. The one I was telling you about yesterday. I want him bad. I would leave everyone alone for him. Oh well love is for the birds. I will make sure I get over it by the time I go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day. Hopefully I can focus on writing. Usually my writing speaks for itself but today it really is horrible. Please continue to read everyday. I assure you it will get more interesting.

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